Be You

 

In reality you are a complex miracle of creation. Your intrinsic value is that you are a human life that lives, experiences and perceives. By this definition, you are just as worthy as everyone else who is doing the same thing. Achievement does not equal worth. So whatever you do or create, contribute should not come from a need to prove your value, but comes instead from the natural flow of your own aliveness.

Many people feel that their worth depends on their behavior, as if they were an empty vessel filling up with drops of achievement. This makes your worth dependent on what you do and how well you do it. The critic wants you to believe that you have no intrinsic value, only potential for doing something worthwhile or important.

To disarm the critic and empower yourself, ask yourself what you gain for neutralizing his attacks.

What is the cost of gaining a strong sense of identity?

ü  Generosity with spouse.

ü  Kindness to children.

ü  Gaining friends because of politeness.

ü  Assertiveness with clients/fellow workers even if they are uncomfortable with it.

ü  Affirmative to those in authority.

ü  You feel relaxed and at ease with people.

ü  Bravely attempting new things because you know you can get them right.

Good self-esteem gives you a great gain in every area of life. So when the critic attacks, be ready to tell them what your effects would rather be.

 

Advice to those recovering, untwisting and healing from any type of abuse:

Recovery consists of building a solid foundation on truth strong enough to resume a functioning and positive life. It encompasses the following: Raise your children in such a way that they have a normal happy childhood. Give them the opportunity to have autonomous thought and know who they are so they can decide where they fit. With a healthy environment, they would have ease of making decisions, trust those in authority and develop skills especially social skills.

·        Network with others;

·        Growing spiritually;

·        Raising your awareness;

·        Reconciling with those concerned

·        Forgiving others and yourself

·        Pace yourself

·        Professional therapy where needed

·        Reintegrating into society

·        Having hope for the future

·        Write about your feelings and experiences. Writing has been found to be very helpful to survivors and enables you process your thoughts by getting them out of your head and down on paper where you can reflect and make sense of them.

·        Encourage the support of safe persons who understands what you went through and are willing to listen, validate and empower you.

·        As you start making your own decisions, living the way you know best for you, and understand that you are worthwhile and have something unique to offer others, then you will gain the feeling of being distinguished and brave. The best comeback is to become happy and productive.

In addition, take time out to rest, go on a walk, listen to music, draw, write poetry, remind yourself you are now living in the present and they can't control you anymore--whatever helps you. Don't forget to include a healthy, balanced diet with plenty of fresh fruits and vegetables (taking added supplements for stress if necessary). Get adequate sleep, exercise, and times of relaxation, as neglecting these things can affect how you feel physically and emotionally.

Once you realize that you have the power to change things in your life, you will not feel you have to wait for people to be good to you. You have the power to choose a better option."

 

Hope for the future

 

Develop a relationship with God by growing in the grace and knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. With time you will feel free to be yourself and begin developing your gifts and interests again. This can be the beginning of a new life that you choose for yourself.

You regain the creativity and individuality that God originally gifted you with and you become a stronger and more discerning person than you were before.